I Miss Yesterday

I miss the days when our biggest worry were final exams; When there were no manager to please, reality to understand and a future to fear; I miss the days when we used to have fun all day long except for some moments of seriousness instead of today where we have some moments of fun in an all serious day!

I miss the days when we used to go to school, have fun, play soccer, and laugh from the heart, I miss the days when I was not in charge, when I was not a decision maker, when I was just a kid!

I miss the days when we used to argue in school about silly things and try to get girls attention, when we used to pretend we were going to school and go to cinema instead, when we used to wait to hear the school bell declaring the end of class.

I miss the days when there was no job, wife or kids to worry about; I miss the days when I used to come early from school to watch Captain Majed, I miss the last day in exams followed by a three months of total fun and relaxation and later on when we used to wake up whenever we want and go to college whenever we want and go out whenever we want.

I miss the days when choices were not life changing, when life was simple… That doesn’t mean I hate today, but I just simply miss yesterday.

A year to remember or a year to forget ?!

Without a doubt, this year was like no other year, 2011 is a year to remember! I don’t think anyone in this country or even this planet will forget 2011, a year filled with everything; revolutions in Egypt, Tunisia, Libya, Syria & Yemen, of which three dictators have fallen and the rest to come hopefully, Zein El Dein El Abdeen fled, Hosni Mubarak is in jail and Kadafy was killed! Ali Abd Allah Saleh is on his way out while Bashar is still fighting and killing his people trying to avoid the destiny of the other four tyrants! Unrests in Bahrain, Tsunami & nuclear leaks in Japan, riots in England, floods in Thailand, Pakistan & Philippine, powerful earthquakes in Turkey, Japan, New Zealand & Pakistan, South Sudan Seceded from Sudan, terrorism attacks in Norway, Belgium and Russia, financial crises in Europe & the United States, Italian and Greece prime ministers were forced out, economic protests worldwide, Bin Laden was killed, hunger in Somalia. Europe & the United States are falling, Asia is rising.

I-phones, Androids and Blackberries are everywhere, occupy movements have spread everywhere, from Wall Street to Tokyo in over than 95 cities in 82 countries and the United States officially left Iraq, UNESCO admitted Palestine as a member and still Zamalek didn’t win the national league in Egypt!

All that is on the global and local level while I’m sure all of us had his/her share from events on the personal level, some were good and some were bad but we all had our share.

2011 proved practically that change is possible, in fact it proved that change is inevitable and it doesn’t have to be a change to the worse in all cases, we can still see a light in the end of the tunnel, a small ray of hope that change can be for the better, we just need to believe and work for it and prove ourselves worthy of that “better” change.

Few hours from now and all these events will step down announcing the beginning of a new year, but the changes caused by these events will remain with us forever whether it was good or bad ones, it will affect the way we see things and it will definitely affect 2012 one way or another.

Some might argue that 2011 is a year to forget not a year to remember because of all the losses, deaths, mistakes and hard times we all faced, but I’ll look at the half full glass and be optimistic and say; hopefully 2011 was full of all these hard times and lessons to teach us how to handle 2012 and make it a better year.

Welcome 2012; hoping you give us whatever 2011 didn’t. And so long 2011 and it’s up to each of you to determine whether it was a year to remember or a year to forget!

Have The Courage To Live

Have you ever wondered when was the last time you had some quality time, read a book, watched the sunrise or sunset, prayed feeling every single word you say, went to a garden and laid down on the grass, chilled out and relaxed. I bet it has been a very long time since you did any of these things!

We are too busy nowadays to realize that we are wasting the best years of our lives, we are too busy to notice that time is slipping from our hands, we wake up early, get ready and leave for work, we get stuck in traffic, we feel angry and then arrive to work in a bad mood, we are drown into meetings, mails, sheets and papers, then we leave and get stuck again in traffic just to feel more angry when we get back home late, feeling physically and mentally exhausted, we change our cloth, maybe take a shower and eat and suddenly we look to the clock hanging on the wall to realize it’s time to sleep to wake up again early to go to work, and even on weekends and holidays, we’re either working from home or office since modern technology now allows us to work from anywhere, they invented laptops, cell phones & blackberries so that we are available seven days a week! And even if we are not working then we are busy according to our gender whether we are shopping for the house or fixing the car or fixing something in the house or cooking and cleaning or following up on our personal business -if we have any- and in a blink of an eye the vacation is over and we are back to the same endless loop.

With this enormous advance in technology we find ourselves always busy, between the phone and the cell phone, the PC and the laptop, the iphone and the blackberry, the e-mail and the voice mail, the facebook and twitter, the messenger and the yahoo!

All these amazing inventions made us more busy and have no time left for ourselves and disconnected from the important people around us, we make ourselves busy with the things that doesn’t matter instead of the things that does matter! Twenty years from now you will forget who’s the genius who invented the facebook or the messenger, in fact right now you probably don’t know and don’t care who invented the facebook and messenger but you will never forget a friend who helped you one day when you were in need, neither will you ever forget an amazing trip you had with your friends or family to the sea where you had some quality time. Twenty years from now you will never remember the meetings, the mails and the deadlines, but you will never forget that these meetings, mails and deadlines took you from your family and friends; they even took you from yourself!

When you read this article you have three choices; the first one is to disagree with it and keep on living this lie we all live in, the second one is agree with it and do nothing to change this sad truth and that’s what the majority will do, the third one is to agree with it and do some real effort to change this sad truth and that’s what probably the minority will do and maybe even none!

The fact is; one day will come and we’ll regret wasting all this time on the less important things in life or maybe we won’t even live till the day we regret such things!

So, take a stand now and change your way of life, have some quality time, forget the facebook and messenger, forget the mails and deadlines and go watch the sunset, spend few days by the sea, lay down on the grass or read a decent book, play with infants, laugh from the heart, put your worries in an ice box, enjoy life, disconnect yourself from what’s less important to connect to what’s more important.

Have the courage to live!

1/1/2011

The Sky is No Longer Blue

The sky is no longer blue where I live, the trees are no longer tall and the leaves are no longer green, the streets are no longer clean, the roads are no longer safe, the people are no longer happy, the children are no longer playing, friendship does no longer exist and honesty and trust have been erased from our dictionary, decency and respect have been forgotten, fairness & justice lost their meaning in a cruel world.

Crime spread everywhere, laws are no longer followed, religions are no longer respected and humanity no longer exist, truth is being buried, liars are being believed, honest people are being doubted and respectful people are being judged.

People wake up one day to realize they are stuck in an endless road, they find themselves running so fast to cope with today’s cruel world, but what’s the point of running if you are not on the right road?!

They look around and realize that years have gone by faster than they ever imagined, time passed so quickly, they find everything is upside down, and they start wondering whether it’s all just a dream, whether all what they see or seen is but a dream within a dream!

And they try so hard to stand on their feet, and not to be just another face in the crowd, try to make a difference and the harder they try the harder they fall, fall so deep and so hard in a hole of disappointment and despair where they just can no longer stand on their feet anymore.

It makes me sad seeing so much chaos and damage everywhere, it makes me sad seeing that nobody seems to care, it makes me sad seeing people lose their values, hopes & dreams, it makes me sad finding that nothing is the way it seems, it makes me sad seeing humiliation, prostration and fragility in people’s eyes, it makes me sad I can’t breathe fresh air within a thousand miles … It makes me sad I can no longer figure what’s false and what’s true… It makes me sad that the sky is no longer blue!

Yousef Hani

31/8/2010

I Miss You

I’ve never known the meaning of loneliness till I traveled away from you, maybe they are just two weeks but to me they are like two years, I am always sad and in a bad mood, I’m counting the days, the hours, and the minutes to get back to you, till I get back to your beautiful smile and your gentle touch.

I feel lost, confused, and unhappy, I feel something is wrong, actually I feel nothing is right, without you my life feels so empty, colorless & tasteless, but with you my life is complete, with you I have all what I need.

I am not excited to see new places or visit beautiful sightings, because I will not feel excited nor will I taste their beauty as long as you are not there with me, visiting an exciting place is just dull without having your hands in mine, seeing new things is boring without seeing your smile first, and hearing people talk makes no sense if I can’t hear your voice.

It’s an amazing feeling to look into someone’s eyes and see everything you ever wanted, see passion that never fades, see the sun and its shades, see a shelter from the storm, a place where you can feel warm.

This is what I feel when I look at you, I see the future; a home I dream of building with you, a family I dream of raising with you. I want to slow dance with you even if there’s no music playing, I want to have sleepless nights with you, I want to restore my childhood days and play with you, I want to have kids with you, I want them to have your beautiful smile, your tender eyes and your kindness.

I want you to take me to a trip to the moon; I want you never to leave my side, because those two weeks showed me how much I love you, how much I need you and how much I miss you.

Yousef Hani
17/6/2010

Imagine

Imagine with me that there’s someone who actually cares, someone asks you; how are you? And cares to hear the answer! Imagine with me a person that you can confide into, a person that you can trust the most, that you can reveal your secrets to with no fear of the consequences, with no fear that they can use these secrets to hurt you one day!

Imagine with me a person shares with you the same insatiable feeling, who desires you and wants to have a lifetime with you, who dreams about you and about the day you be together forever, who dreams about raising a family with you and willing to sacrifice anything just to see a smile on your face.

Imagine with me a person who believes in you, a person who has faith in you, who knows that no matter what happens you will get through it together, a person who loves you for who you are, not for what they want you to be, loves you for the way they feel when they are with you.

Imagine with me a person who turns your world with a smile, who makes you feel that reality is much better than dreaming, a person who makes you feel desired, wanted & needed, who gives a meaning to this meaningless world of yours!

Imagine with me a person who never gives up on you, a person who offers you a lifetime of happiness, offers you a bond that won’t break, a trust that won’t shake, offers you a dream that comes true, a soul mate they find in you.

Imagine with me that you can’t get this person out of your head because they simply supposed to be there, imagine that when you are with that person you feel you are home, you know this is where you belong.

And the most important thing is that I don’t need to imagine any of this anymore because all this exists, all this is true, and all this in one person… And this person is you.

Walking on the moon

I don’t know what’s going on with me lately, I’m losing concentration, and I feel confused! Is this what I think it is?! Is it possible that I can fall that hard and that fast for someone?

I can’t believe this is happening to me, I can’t believe I fell that fast for your beautiful eyes, you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen, eyes filled with tenderness of a child and confidence of a queen, I can’t believe I’m already thinking where will we be spending our honey moon, and what will be the name of our first child, you made me feel stupid for not noticing you earlier, you made me feel guilty for considering someone else while you were in front of my eyes, you made me regret every single second I wasted away from you, you made me realize that all the others were meant to guide me straight to you!

Now I realize why didn’t it work with anyone else before, now I realize what’s in life worth fighting for, you gave color to this colorless world of mine, there will never be another love another time. From this moment there will be no other inspirer but you, I’ll write all kinds of love poems and dedicate them all to you.

 

I want you to fall asleep in my arms, I want to wake up every single day to see you by my side, I want to carve our names on a tree, I want to slow dance with you in the rain, I want to see the world through you, you complete me giving me the chance to complete you too. I want to tell our story with a sigh, you came to my life and became the moon in my sky, you are like a dream come true, the definition of happiness that everyone pursue.

 

I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I’m worthy of your love, proving that I’m worthy to have you for the rest of my life.

 

You are like a meteor, a shooting star landed on my door, you are the air I breathe and everyday I’m loving you more, you are like a sweet breeze in the summer of June & When I’m with you I feel as if I’m walking on the moon.

 

Yousef Hani

24/5/2009

Thank You

It has been five or maybe even six years since I last felt this way towards someone, I even had times where I started to believe that it might not ever happen again, and suddenly you walked into my life proving that I was wrong, that I still can have these kinds of feelings again, that I don’t have a heart of stone like I thought.

I always thought that if I ever had this feeling again towards someone it’ll be mutual, but once again you proved that I was wrong, you told me that mutual affection cannot be, you told me that you only see a friend in me.

When I think about it I feel we will be perfect together, that we definitely complete each other, but you made me realize that it doesn’t really matter what I think or how I feel and the only thing that matters is what you think and how you feel, you made me realize that it doesn’t really matter what I say or what I do, you made me realize that you are just another dream that will never come true.

I know that I’ll be fine, I know that all I need is time, and that time heals everything, I know that I’ll get through this one way or another, I know that I’m strong enough to let go and move on, I know that the ending of this story will not be as I hoped and dreamed, and now I have to rewrite a new ending that fits, a new ending that copes with reality not with imagination, an optimistic yet realistic finale that shows a ray of hope in the darkest hour, a ray of hope that gives me peace of mind and takes the sadness away.

But before ending this chapter in my life and start a new one, I want to thank you, I want to thank you for proving that my heart was not shut down forever like I thought, in fact it’s just in the sleeping mood till someone come along and awaken these feelings again.

My only wish right now is… It won’t take another five or six years!!

 

Yousef Hani

29/3/2009

And Now I’m Torn Apart

I know there are things in life that are just not meant to be, things that are simply out of reach but I’m just wondering how could I know?! How could I know whether it’s just not meant to be or I just need to fight for it till I get it?!

When you walked into my life you were like a spark that lightened the darkness inside of me, like a ray of hope to be happy, to be free. I found in you someone I can trust, someone I can confide into, someone that can turn my world with a smile, who ignited the feelings inside of me, feelings that were buried for a very long time. You revived my heart and brought back the joy and laughter to my life, made me focus on the future and forget about the past.

I started to like you, I started to like the way I feel when I’m with you, I started to like the idea of me being with you and I wanted more… I needed more.

A beautiful yet dangerous feeling started crawling into my heart, I tried to resist it, to pretend that it doesn’t exist but it kept getting stronger and stronger till I just gave up! I was no longer capable of hiding these feelings inside of me, in fact I was no longer willing to pretend, to deny that you are starting to mean the world to me, that I’ll do anything to see a smile on your face.

I’ve been resisting this feeling for quite a while, but not anymore, I want you; I want to have your precious tears, your cute frown and your gentle touch. I want to listen to your heartbeats next to mine. I want to hold you in my arms and never let go. I want to marry you, I want to have kids with you, I want to build a house and settle down with you, I want to grow old with you, I want a lifetime with you, and I want to wake up every day to see you by my side. These are my feelings that I can no longer hide!

I tried vainly to control these emotions, to control my insatiable desire of being with you, but the truth is I just can’t stand the idea of you being with someone else; I just can’t let this happen.

I wanted you to know everything, hoping and dreaming, wishing and praying that you might have the same feelings for me or maybe that beautiful heart of yours will feel that fragile heart of mine, and they’ll end up together somehow.

But I was wrong, you didn’t feel for me what I felt for you and your heart didn’t feel mine as I was hoping and dreaming. You made me feel as if I’m standing in front of you but you just don’t see me!!

And now I’m torn apart, should I let go and leave saying it was never meant to be?! Or stick and fight for you, keep hoping and dreaming that one day I’ll win that fight, that one day… I’ll win you!

Yousef Hani
26/2/2009

 

A Potential Happily Ever after

You move on in life thinking that nothing will ever happen and nothing will ever change, and suddenly you meet someone new! You listen carefully, look closely and you see someone interesting, someone lovable, you see a potential happily ever after!

But you don’t want to rush into things; you don’t want to make a move that you might later regret! They say when you see something from a far you develop a fantasy, but when you see it up close, 9 times out of 10 you wish you hadn’t!!

So, you take it nice and slow, taking it one step at a time, you have been hurt before and others have been hurt because of you as well, you choose every word and every move carefully to avoid that outcome, you try to figure out how they think and how they feel, you take your time, you try to understand them giving them enough time to understand you as well.

You see an opportunity, a chance to build something that’s real, something that lasts, you start to feel that your dream actually might come true, that your fairy tale is not at all out of reach, but you still have your doubts and fears, you haven’t been really successful in that area before, so you start questioning the way you think and the way you feel and you start wondering about the way they think and the way they feel.

You are too afraid to make a move and find out that you have been hallucinating, that you have been imagining something that doesn’t exist, and you are too afraid not to make a move because you might make them feel that you are not looking for more, that you only want to settle in the “friend” zone, so they give up on you and move on!

It’s a risk, waiting is a risk and talking is a risk, you might end up having it all and you might end up losing it all! And that’s the beauty of it, so until you are certain and until you have it all or lose it all, it will remain… A potential happily ever after.

Yousef Hani
25/2/2009